Stage Managing With a Lot Less Stress, Part 1

As I've been thinking about this and writing drafts, I've discovered more specific angles than I expected. So, I'll just cover a couple of ideas for now.

One of the big things that will help you stay calm, and help you maintain a calm atmosphere for everyone else, is self-awareness. How many times have you snapped at someone who didn't deserve it, because the rest of your day sucked? We don't do it consciously. It's just really easy, when you have a lot to do, to ignore how raw your nerves are, how short your fuse is getting.

No matter how busy you are, it's worth a minute of your time to take stock, and talk yourself off the ledge if you find that's where you are. Do it before everyone gets to rehearsal, or walking from your car. Quiet and alone. My dialogue might go a little like this:

Me: Well, that was a crappy drive. And I didn't get the water bill paid, and I'm still pissed off from talking to Mom*.
Me: Rough day. You sound a little edgy. Be careful not to yell at the singers.
Me: But they're SOOOO careless with their props / talkative during rehearsal / klepto with my pencils!
Me: OMG, they're human. They aren't trying to make your job difficult! And you know damn well you love the work they do, or you wouldn't do this job. You're perfectly capable of giving gentle reminders without going superbitch.
Me: I'll try, I'm just so frazzled!
Me: Then breathe, and leave it behind. You have three hours of rehearsal, and that's three hours that bad drivers, the water bill, and Mom will leave you alone.
Me: Yeah... okay. I guess I do have to be calm and focused.

Another big stress-fighter I want to mention in this first entry is physical health and comfort. If you feel like crap, it affects your mood. Maybe you're so tired you just want to cry for no reason. Maybe your spouse brought a bug home from work, and you're not just sick, you're pissed. Maybe your shoes are giving you blisters. DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!** If all you can think about is how much your body aches, you aren't focused on your work. Someone will come up and surprise you with a question or one-more-thing-to-do, and you'll snap. So make it easier to keep focused by doing things to physically feel better. Get enough rest and eat healthy food. I'm not perfect at this, but I do a better job of it than ten years ago. Get a little exercise. Get a flu shot in the fall, and keep some non-drowsy pain meds in your kit. Be smart about footwear, or anything else that relates to your physical comfort - I keep both a sweater and a hand-fan with my supplies, because temperature fluctuations get to me. Don't skip meals. Keep your water bottle handy. Talk an actor into giving you a shoulder rub during break.

And for the love of Freud, if you are prone to clinical depression, anxiety, anger issues, or other emotional disorders, don't be afraid to see a therapist! I've always been open about the relationship between Prozac and my ability to function as a reasonably sane human. You don't have to be crazy to be a stage manager... because it really doesn't help. I used to think that I looked like a better worker if I made it known how much I had to do and how much stress it caused me. Wrong! I looked like someone who could only handle her job by feeding negativity into the atmosphere. Bad stuff.

Pop quiz: Why would anyone do the job of stage manager? (Go back a few paragraphs for the answer.) If you don't find some fulfillment in the art you're part of creating, if you don't respect the talents of your colleagues, it's probably not the job for you. That's a larger issue than just handling stress, so I'll look at it another time. Now, back to the stress-reducing.

When troubleshooting is a big part of your job, you don't have to look hard for things to feel negative about. Your to-do list gets longer and longer as opening night approaches. But you know what? There are tons of things to love, right in front of you, and enjoying them doesn't detract from your ability or opportunity to fix what needs fixing. In fact, a few happy things in your brain will make your capability and efficiency flow easier. (I don't have a source to cite, but I think I could find a psych study if I looked.)

In the last show I worked, I was struck by the beauty of a particular aria. It nearly brought me to tears, the good kind, every time I heard it. Sure, I'm not at work to be entertained, that's for the audience. But there's no reason the power and beauty can't touch me too. I felt so lucky, even blessed, to get to experience that as part of my job. It became sacred to me, a moment in which (once the show was running) I could lose myself. That's the kind of thing to hold onto when everything else seems ready to come crashing down.



*Hypothetical example. Mom actually hasn't pissed me off for several years, at least not enough to significantly affect my mood.

**h/t Linda Ade Brand